i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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