ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
