Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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