I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
