Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
