So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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