Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
