you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
