I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
vagina is talking i cant
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
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