when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
