She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just want nice things and good sex
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
