Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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