READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
