you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
