My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
