He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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