Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Congratulations! We have a period
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