South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I intend to get homeless drunk
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
