enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My feet surprised me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
