but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
