You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
