One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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