You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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