its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
They took my balls.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
