grandma shit on top of the toilet
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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