I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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