Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
