So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
