i just google imaged poop.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
