Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
