it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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