So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
