I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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