After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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