Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
