Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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