it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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