She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
