I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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