two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
