Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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