i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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