yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
