ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
