allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
