I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
