i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You're like the curious george of whores
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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