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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
