Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
