she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I supernannyed him into submission
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
