Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
