she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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