I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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